yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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