...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Randomize
