idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
