fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
