Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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