she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating