it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together