just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.