If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!