Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
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I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
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Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.