Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna have a badass scar

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  (248): I'm gonna have a badass scar http://tfl.nu/vp2m
  Replies (3) Good night (1603) Bad night (584)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.

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  (612): I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement. http://tfl.nu/3cr8
  Replies (27) Good night (5756) Bad night (798)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Yes but- 100% agreed

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  (617): I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick? (1-617): Yes but- 100% agreed http://tfl.nu/cz25
  Replies (29) Good night (3675) Bad night (847)
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  (323): View more from California

  Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.

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  (323): Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups. http://tfl.nu/guyb
  Replies (7) Good night (3778) Bad night (1023)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position

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  (+44): i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position http://tfl.nu/45mu
  Replies (9) Good night (872) Bad night (3066)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?

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  (901): Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow? http://tfl.nu/gguq
  Replies (8) Good night (876) Bad night (2708)
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  (283): View more from Ohio

  she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.

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  (283): she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love. http://tfl.nu/fwj8
  Replies (8) Good night (4365) Bad night (754)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR

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  (604): I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR http://tfl.nu/a8v0
  Replies (15) Good night (3041) Bad night (1819)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him

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  (803): Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him http://tfl.nu/31nh
  Replies (23) Good night (4717) Bad night (1945)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose

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  (817): Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose http://tfl.nu/bx5q
  Replies (0) Good night (428) Bad night (785)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.

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  (805): I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina. http://tfl.nu/lu11
  Replies (4) Good night (574) Bad night (946)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"

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  (513): You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT" http://tfl.nu/mncx
  Replies (2) Good night (756) Bad night (342)
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  (925): View more from California

  i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.

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  (925): i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking. http://tfl.nu/rb0f
  Replies (5) Good night (984) Bad night (318)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal

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  (870): Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal http://tfl.nu/uj9w
  Replies (9) Good night (699) Bad night (218)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"

  (917): View more from New York City

  Rigtt?!

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  (718): I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts" (917): Rigtt?! http://tfl.nu/6krm
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (245)

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