I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Barsexuality is the new black.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
