Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I'm both gender and math confused
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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