You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
