Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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