Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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