on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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