My friends, they love my intelligence
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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