Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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