I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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