I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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