he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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