i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
