remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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