First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize