OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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