sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
