you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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