do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
