kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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