Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
