Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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