I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
