Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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