I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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