Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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