Pants 0. Shit 1.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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