We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
