The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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