As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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