making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
