Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
