I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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