At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
