please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
did you just send me my own nude
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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