she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
This toilet bowl is my home.
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