this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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