i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
