Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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