my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
