You really coming over, don't trick.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
