Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
