I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize