member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
