ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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