How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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