i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
