I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
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I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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