boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
