I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize