bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
