people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
