they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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