True but thats because hes a fetus.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
