U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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