Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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