no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
