C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
There's always time for handjobs
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
