My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
