**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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