Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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