I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
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The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
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So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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