then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
