Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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