I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
